I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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