Welp...herpes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
