I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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