I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
