So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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