Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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