i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
