Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
