If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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