I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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