what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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