Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you never un-have a 4some
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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