He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize