saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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