if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize