were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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