her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
