I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
