I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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