none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
