It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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