Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
