I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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