so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
