Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
