You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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