i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
