i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
