jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
