i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
