he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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