WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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