I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
