I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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