ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
