Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
