There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
