Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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