the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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