On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
