if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
