Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
