and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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