I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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