ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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