this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
