btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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