I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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