is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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