The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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