Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
