I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize