Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
