We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
