I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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