Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
