I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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