He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need to sanitize my soul.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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